#ATS2022 – The American Thoracic Society Meeting
We went to talks about the science, but also about the challenge. Holding that we are mothers and also doctors and that we felt we failed at both. We failed at so many things. But we didn’t fail. Because we were there. And here we are. Holding that we took calls about who gets the last ECMO bed or the last ICU bed. Holding these decisions and feeling the weight of it and the guilt, and also holding other places, where those decisions were made differently. How many people did we kill? How many did we help? We did the best we could – is that enough? They tell us it is, and yet some of us are holding and turning things over in our minds, because maybe we could have done more. Maybe we should have turned right when we took a left, but we can’t quite see that left was better. Was it?
Girl Driver
“Mom, doctors are men and nurses are women,” one of my four-year-olds said to me cuddling up in my lap as the pediatric nurse walked in. He wasn’t trying to be inflammatory. At this age, he had been learning social norms, and his voice betrayed the pride he felt at finally figuring out this “rule.” … Continue reading
mybetterdoctor 